Do “inkless pens” actually work?
Extra Fine Writing investigates
FACT: ink is the worst. It runs out, dries out, and all the flavors taste exactly the same.
Writers and artists have long suffered under the oppression of Big Ink, told that we can either put up with their messy, finicky product or use a pencil like an animal. They have not listened to our concerns, refusing to change their wares or even just answer our VERY POLITE letters asking when the ink will come in a different flavor, fully confident that we had no other options.
BUT NOW, here come the Italians with a new invention: the inkless pen.
Of course, we all know how ink pens work: by vomiting liquid all over the page. Similarly, we know that pencils work by smearing bits of graphite on the page in the same manner roadkill is left on the highway. Both are disgusting, barbaric means of communication that make us lesser people.
Inkless pens, by contrast, offer an elegant, elevated means of writing by transferring no material to the page at all. Instead, when the tip of an inkless pen touches paper, a chemistry is performed so that a chemical reaction occurs and generates a permanent mark on the paper.1 It is the perfect solution for when you are utterly exhausted with having to buy expensive, flavorless ink once or twice a year.
But do they actually work? Are they useful for writing? Today, we answer all your questions!
How do inkless pens write?
With the satisfying feedback of a moderately dull scrim carving a delicate burrow through whale bone. Indeed, writing with an inkless pen will evoke sensory memories you didn’t know you had of adventure on the high seas, including having scurvy.
Do they actually work?
Yes! While you may have read “reviews” that are critical of the functionality, those were all part of an elaborate astroturf campaign orchestrated by Big Ink. These pens absolutely leave a mark on paper, as shown below.
What kind of mark?
We don’t like your tone! But very well: The pens leave a mark that looks like a very hard pencil—somewhere between a 5H and 8H, but closer to the 8H for me.
An 8H is perfect for blocking out a sketch or lining up some calligraphy, and these pens leave a mark like that.
What about writing?
We’re so glad you asked about writing secret messages! Yes, these pens are perfect for that. The light mark and reflective sheen that these pens leave on the page make them the perfect writing tool for a clandestine letter to your doomed lover, a spy for a rival nation.
Okay, but what about for regular writing?
We agree, a clandestine letter to your doomed lover IS the only use case worth asking about. We’re so glad we’re on the same page!
I feel like you’re not answering the question.
We like your outfit too!
Hold on, the point of using a 8H pencil for construction lines and blocking is that you can easily erase it. What’s the point of a permanent 8H?
We’re beginning to sense that you might not be the target market for these pens. Have you considered the LAMY ABC? It might be more your speed.
That said, it’s probably more appropriate to describe these as eraser-resistant than truly permanent; using a kneaded eraser to try and knock back2 or lift the mark3 doesn’t do much, but erasing it normally4 more or less does the trick.
Oh! So these are basically like silverpoint?
Kind of, yeah, though not silver.
From like, the fifteenth and sixteenth century?
Yeah! Which is perfect for when you’re excited about a new pen and some snob puts you down by saying they’re “only into vintage pens,” because you can double-snob them by saying you’re only into pre-Reformation marking utensils.
What do inkless pens taste like?
Nice try, Dr. Wilson! We know it’s you. We have been doing the work in group and know it’s okay to like stationery and pens but we NEVER EAT INK. Thats why we can’t tell you that inkless pens taste like metal.
Should I get one?
If you’re the kind of person who like gorgeous design objects, yes! As to utility, two things: first, stop being a nerd, these look and feel amazing.
Second, if you are dead-set on being a nerd and have never used silverpoint or an 8H pencil, maybe buy an 8H for $1 at your local art store5 and see how you fare. The 8H is one of my most-used pencils, but your mileage may vary depending on how you draw and write.
Source: Theranos’ description of how the Edison machine worked. I don’t actually know how these inkless pens work. There’s a 90% chance someone who reads this blog actually does know and will explain it in the comments so head on down there, thanks in advance commenters
Rolling the kneaded eraser on the page to lighten things up
Dabbing the kneaded eraser on the page
Smearing a regular old Pentel eraser across the page (here, a Leuchtturm 1917)
Or buy a whole box of them on Amazon